sick and down

Dammit... I'm sick. =(

For the first time in the past six years, I've actually fallen sick so right now I'm feeling like crap and it's such a bitch.  Here I am, in bed with my laptop, blanket, electric heater, and sweats... oh, and meds + hot water in large amounts. w00t.  What a way to start winter break + start life as a second semester senior.  Just fucking awesome.

Meh... stuck with doing college apps + recovering + possibly skipping a party tomorrow [ :( ] and yeah... what a great way to sum up my break at the moment.

On a lighter note, playing football + SSBB + GH was fun at Alex's place with others.  A fairly good start to a fun break.

Here's to a fun recovery.

college

one week... 3 results.... billions of emotions all together.  It's been an emotional rollercoaster all the way.

Got into two of my safety schools, so i do have something to fall back on.  Waco, Texas or Champaign, Illinois? we'll see... oh well.

on the other hand, my #1 school didn't turn out as #1 as i had hoped for it to be :(

after stressing all of thursday till 2 pm, i logged on to brown.edu/admissions and clicked on the URLs to check what was the deal with Brown.  I saw it, and felt a knot in the back of my head.  Not cool at all... worst thing in a while.  

IDK how i pulled through most + some of it really... bouncing back to calc test, working on other HW + whatnot... it has been an interesting ride as far as i see when i look back.  but in it all, i don't think i could have done without some ppl:

SG: our escapade running around campus hunting for people aware of certain racial slurs plus our talks... helped recover from the knot in the back of the head and i felt a tad better, so thanks :)

AL: your little pep talk whilst u were stressing the day before your results came out (congrats btw and good luck as Wharton class of 13!)  it did help as well

Paul: thank you for "speaking words of wisdom" which "will be an answer" to me... as we "let it be." god bless you + the beatles for everything... that song has been my life for some time, getting me through it all.  its been my mantra for the last few days and whatnot. 

Seniors: these are the last finals which actually DO matter... lets just go out and kick ass on these ones.  Let's do this.

Shock

idk how to respond to it at all… it just seems so sudden.   all of a sudden, the rug you’re walking on is whisked away from under your feet and you’re left lying on the floor whilst looking up at the ceiling, trying to think about so many things at one time: how it happened… why it happened… why you didn’t see it coming… why you didn’t bother thinking about it as much as you should have.

it’s all just a whirlwind of madness which comes suddenly and disappears, and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it no matter how hard you try to.

H: don’t worry much about it… shit happens.  and it’s not like you intended for it to go down like that.  i’ll pull through and learn how to play my cards right though it’ll be hard

A: it’s cool… i’ve been down the same path one time before, even though this one counts as a double-whammy. idk what exactly i’m gonna do, but i need to find a way to pull through and stay strong

V: it’s been interesting, like i told u last night.  even know, idk what to say or how to react… but i’ll try to play my cards right.  thanks for helping a tad, especially cuz it’s a similar situation u’ve been in at a similar time and u can understand it, so thanks

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