letting go...

follow up from yesterday's post (Life = Bitch)...

when i heard she liked someone, i was crestfallen.  like how could this have happened? what i had hoped for since end of junior year had nose-dived and crashed and i was losing her... for the 2nd time in my life.  why was this happening to me?

this reminds me of Kal Ho Naa Ho (an indian movie).  long story short: a man gives up his love for the happiness of the girl he likes. Go to Wikipedia to see about the movie OR watch it (trust me... this movie is not THAT sappy and is damn good + comes with subtitles).

my friend then, just 1/2 hour ago, told me something deep (can't say cuz i don't wanna, plus he won't like it either).  after thinking about it along with the whole light of things, i really have decided that it might be best to LET HER GO.

yeah... its killing me really badly.  and idk what'll become of me and her, mainly me though... cuz i've never been able to tell her the truth about my feelings for her.  but i need to let it all go cuz at the end of the day, i wanna see her happy.  big whoop, i don't get her as the girl.  but the main thing is this: far worse things can happen to someone... losing love isn't the worst; giving her up will be the toughest thing i'll have done till date (yes... harder than APs and other stuff).  but i need to do it for her sake... i don't wanna come between her and it all.  i <3>

you gotta take tough decisions, but in the end, they're usually worth it

P.S. if she's reading this, i just want her to know this: 

I love you 4ever, but i only wanna see u happy.  if i see that, then i think it'll be like being together with you.  Its hard for me, but I'm doing what I think is gonna be right for me and hopefully you too.  take care and stay happy... cuz i don't wanna see u sad no matter what.  don't let me see that... cuz it'll kill me.