where am i headed?

physics labs are a pain in the ass... no joke.  its not that i don't get the material, albeit i hate physics.  i just don't like the labs and the gajillion graphs and tables and worksheets that ensue.  it all piles up and just is a pain in the ass... all the way up. (TMI much?)  i'm only taking physics cuz i already did bio/chem AP last year and i didn't wanna do physio.  oh well... suck it up.

thus begins the mad dash till Early Apps are due... yeeeeeeeee :)

i have 15 fucking days, counting today, to finish 2 essays for brown.  

1) talk about a certain academic experience and how it has inspired u.

2) ur applying to PLME.  talk about how the program is good 4u and what classes u'll take.

k... here's my issue: idk what to write for #1.  i finally chose to write about DECA competitions and stuff.  ok... BrIlLiAnT :) except for one thing... idk how it really "inspired/influenced" me much.  i mean sure, i learned not to procrastinate and be a total dumbass (not!).  but i can't think of that inner meaning yet. now onto #2: i have ideas, just no structure.  its like asking an elephant to walk on a bed of twigs on his tiptoes.  he'll do it, but there's no guarantee what'll result of the glass.  its like turning on a car with everything running, except the parking brake is jammed so u can't move.  its like being superglued to a chair when u really need to use the bathroom.

today, one girl in journo had the school profile on her.  so i decided to take a look at class ranking brackets.  i looked at the brackets looking for my GPA till i scanned the third row from the top.  I mean, my grades aren't horribly shitty though they're not stellar, aka perfect 4.0.  its 2-3 B's per semester pretty much.  as i look at my GPA and my college list, i begin to freak out like hell.  where the hell WILL i land up?  it's at times like these i screwing around, playing games online or chatting or w/e.  but then again, its NOT only those things which play a role.  

Case In Point: last year, i ODed on hard classes and my GPA lept into a abyss and sank.  i was pissed at myself at my performance, but failed to see first that i might have ODed on classes.  2nd semester was smoother coastings, but i still had to work hard cuz i had hella stuff to worry about and still do.  i pulled everything up a notch except for 3 classes, which i maintained an ez A both semesters.  in retrospect, that was stupid on my part for wanting to do hella, but oh well.  

on the other hand, calc at WV is going quite well actually.  pretty damn easy i'd say... so :).  Also, journo + java + french + gov + eh... even lit are all doing pretty well.  physics... working on it so i can get an A at the end of the semester... i hope.  

meanwhile, back to that drasted lab... w/e... we'll see.

oh... and i need to finish the damn worksheet.  sonofabitch>>